It's kind of wild that people defend Marvel as brainless or pure fun entertainment cuz like, bro that's a three hour movie that requires you to have seen 12 other 2-3 hour movies before you can enjoy it. Your movies are giving you homework. You have the patience of a god. My "pretentious snobby foreign film" is 98 minutes and it's full of sex and drugs and arguing. How tf am I the elitist here.
It recently came up in conversation with my toddler that some birds can talk, and this has caused her great concern.
See, we were talking about how movies are pretend and how in real life, animals don’t talk. I mentioned that there are some birds who talk a little bit, but not like the animals in movies, and she just looked at me like “???”
So I informed her that some kinds of parrots can copy sounds that people make, and can learn how to say words. I thought this would give her a giggle, as fun new facts often do, but she was just deeply perplexed and a little worried about this.
“Birds can talk?” “Do they ask questions?” “What do they say?” Why do they talk?” “Do chickens talk?” “What about Blue Jays?” “Why do some birds talk?” “How do they talk?” “Birds TALK???”
We showed her a video of a parrot doing the “Hello, pretty bird, give a kiss” thing, and she was dead silent the whole time, hugging her comfort pillow with her knees to her chest. We asked if she wanted us to turn it off, and she shook her head. But we also asked if she wanted to see another one, and she shook her head even harder.
I don’t know why it has distressed her so greatly to learn that some birds can mimic human speech; but then again, I don’t know why it doesn’t distress the rest of us more to know that some birds can mimic human speech.
I keep thinking about that post that’s like “The first person to hear a parrot talk was probably Not Okay.” Because that’s exactly what happened. She had never been introduced to the concept, and her entire worldview got SHOOK.
Part of why Ravens are considered Spooky Bad Things We Associate With The Faeries is because they can and do mimic human speech - but much, much better than a parrot. With a parrot, you can tell something is off about the sound. You can tell it doesn’t belong to a human. Ravens don’t sound like that, no, cause they’re overacheivers. (And passerines). They sound EXACTLY like the voice of whoever they are mimicking.
But more importantly they love the sound of human laughter. No one knows why. But it is totally, 100% possible, and it happens to this day, to walk along the paths in the Black Forest and suddenly hear a strange kind of giggling sound, or maybe even a very clear, definitely human sounding “hello?” “Hiiiii!” Or “let’s go!”.
However, it takes a lot of practice for them to copy sounds as perfectly as they do, so you’re equally likely to hear something that definitely sounds human-like, but the words make no sense and the sound is unlike any language you know.
Ravens at the Tower of London do this all the time. Theyre pretty sociable with humans though, so they do it quite openly. I have seen videos of people, mostly Americans, look absolutely spooked out of their skins when a big ol’ raven (mind ye, these are birds that are 2 feet tall with a 5 foot wingspan) comes waltzing up on the deck and starts talking to them.
And ravens, especially the ones there that have been bred and raised by humans for centuries, don’t just imitate - they have one of the same language processing genes we do, and they understand the way a toddler might that things, places, and individuals have names, and can string together basic sentences much like an african grey.
I know because I used to work with one, Darlene, who knew, quite well, what she wanted and how to ask for it. If you were preparing her breakfast, she would hop on up and investigate. She used to be an illegal pet, and had been taught “manners”. That is to say, if she went for something and you told her, sternly, “mind your manners missy!” She would stop, look at you, perhaps for up to a minute, and then point with her beak to what she wanted. If that did not work, she would ask, in plain English, “grape?” Or “Darl have grape?” And lord help you if you gave her anything less than what she asked for. She would throw it at you, and try to bite you, sometimes while saying “No!” In the same tone as I imagine she was reprimanded in her home.
So yeah. Parrots arent the only ones.
WHAT
Was anyone gonna tell me that ravens can talk or was I meant to read about it on a tumblr post?!
Joan Cusack has never appeared in a film that she did not steal.
And as for Debbie, I will always repost my stance on her end.
I’ve said it a million times - if Debbie had listened to what the Addamses were saying in response to her tales of woe, she’s have realized that they understood completely. She had found her people, and was too wrapped up in herself to realize it.
If they could have, they’d have burst from their bonds, hugged the stuffing out of her, bought her a Bentley (and a vintage Ballerina Barbie) and declare her an Addams.
She could spend the rest of her life trying to kill Fester, and he’d love her all the more every time she tried. And the rest would keep offering helpful suggestions. “No point in trying poison, Debbie my dear - he’s been putting strychnine on his cornflakes since was seven”.
Level 1: Prophecy proclaims that no man can kill villain; killed by woman.
Level 2: Prophecy proclaims that no weapon can harm villain; pushed down stairs and dies.
Level 3: Prophecy proclaims that villain will be brought low by no mortal hand; kicked to death by angry mob.
Level 4: Prophecy proclaims that no power on Earth shall be villain’s undoing; fatally distracted by sun in eyes.
Level 5: Prophecy proclaims that only power of laughter can defeat villain; beat up by clown.
Level **: Prophecy claims that villain cannot be killed by man nor beast, at day or night, or inside or outside. He is killed in a doorway at sunset by a half-man, half-lion
(this is actual Hindu myth)
Level ???: Prophecy claims that hero cannot be killed during the day or night, nor indoors or outdoors, neither riding nor walking, not clothed and not naked, nor by any weapon lawfully made. He is killed at dusk, wrapped in a net with one foot on a cauldron and one on a goat and with a spear forged for a year during the hours when everyone is at mass.
(actual Welsh myth!)
what i’m getting from this is that rules-lawyering is an ancient and honorable tradition
“lol Arthur Conan Doyle clearly didn’t know anything about drugs. Sherlock Holmes did cocaine but it calmed him down. That’s not how cocaine works!”
There are two options: Arthur Conan Doyle had never met someone addicted to cocaine or he met some with ADHD who was addicted to cocaine
#you cannot convince me sherlock 'i don't see a use for this common knowledge i shall forget it immediately' holmes wasn't adhd as hell
#sherlock 'if i have nothing to do for a day i will literally start shooting the walls out of boredom' holmes
#sherlock 'i have built a perfect wax replica of myself - why? iunno' holmes
He specifically took drugs when he didn't have a case to occupy himself, that man was ADHD as fuck
Richard Roxburgh and Kate Beckinsale in Van Helsing (2004)
The best part about this scene wasn’t just that Dracula didn’t have a reflection. She was at a ball with a few hundred other people attending it, and during this dance, there were dozens of other couples also dancing alongside Anna and Dracula. The scene showed that everyone at that ball was a vampire, not just Dracula. And she was the single only human there. It’s so subtly threatening to be surrounded by bloodthirsty killers all dressed to the nines, masked and pretty. And it was such an ingenious way of telling that part of the story, I adore this movie so much.








